Term of the Day: WEDDING DAY

Today, two friends of mine got married.  Now that, in and of itself, might not necessarily be noteworthy for a blog posting.  One notable thing is that they wanted to go ahead and do this for a long time.  Another notable thing is that they are both in their sixties.  They have been together for thirty-four years.  Yes, thirty-four years!

Another notable thing still is that they are gay.  

Both my friends and I live in New Jersey, where gay marriage was given the final green light last week.  A number of years ago, when civil unions were approved here, they went and had a civil union ceremony.  The problem, however, is that civil unions nationwide, not just here in New Jersey, do not allow the same benefits as marriage.  Thus, there was no equality.  Gay couples could have the ceremony (that is, in those states that allowed civil unions) and the paper to prove it, but they did not have the same rights as heterosexual married couples.  Is gay marriage a civil rights issue?  You bet.

All of the arguments against gay marriage are based in religious beliefs.  If that is what you believe religiously, that is your right, but it grants you no right to stop others.  If you are against gay marriage, then don't marry someone of the same gender.  Legalized inequality, like the lack of marriage equality, is not a religious issue; it is a legal issue.  Many people had argued about the term "marriage" for gay couples.  Personally, as a straight ally, I didn't see the need for the haggling.  Call it "marriage" or something else -- the main issue is legal equality.  The moniker is not what's important; equality is what's important.  Inequality is intolerable.

New Jersey became the fourteenth state in America that allows gay marriage, making gay marriage legal in twenty-eight percent of the country.  

After thirty-four years of being together, their commitment is clear.  All they have ever wanted was to be treated equally under the law -- nothing more, nothing less.  I am so happy for my friends and wish them all the best into their thirty-fifth year together and beyond.

Terry